Why my life is fantastical (Ed. #3)

Thankfulness is a choice.  Just like joy and Love and drinking pumpkin bourbon milkshakes.  They all bless my life.

Amidst the broken, these are a few things helping me glue things together.

*My gorgeous parents graced our Casita this weekend.  We went to see family and it was lovely.  Fire pits and BBQ and beautiful weather all managed to offset a speed bump or two and my normal hug quota was filled.

My Daddy, Momma’s cousin Joey, Uncle Denny, and Uncle Van, the gracious host. Some very wonderful men. 🙂

Fire pits, a beautiful lake house, big chairs, and BBQ. Grand day.

*Texts have graced my phone this week that increase my joy.
“I am currently watching an old, rotund, hispanic man salsa dance by himself, shirtless in the middle of Washington Square Park.  Wish you were here.” -Amy
“Big fat hugs to you, Amaris.  You are loved.” -Bev
“This made me think of you!  (Insert image of two very classy ladies.  One asks the other “Do I reek of bourbon?”) -Tonya

*Sarah P. (in Hawaii!  Hey oh, Sarah!) sent me this:

She said it’s for my wall. I think it’s for my life.

*And then, in the midst of the heavy, I got a text from Austin Zane.
“The Edible Arrangement delivery man just dropped something off at the front door.”
Me: “From who?!?!”
Him: “Amber Heeley.”
Me: “Dawwwwwwww.”
Chocolate covered strawberries and one of the most encouraging notes I have ever received arrived.  We’re still eating them, we love them so much.  Amber Heeley, I cannot wait to hug you.  🙂

*For an hour and some change, I shared a table with Theresa, Ashley, Sarah Fish, and Milo.  Margaritas, empanadas, and enough avocado for the week were consumed while people hung out of their cars to holler at Milo.  These women bless my soul and encourage me daily.
And, I mean, who doesn’t freaking love a Milo?

F’real.

*I found this online.
Oh, hallelujah.
When You Are Not Enough – by Thad

*Repeat (again): Poison & Wine
*And repeat: I Will Not Take My Love Away

*On Saturday, the fantastic Brittany let me use her camera as mine is throwing a code.  And I got to capture a family’s very first professional photograph.
Meet the Perkins Family!

*Lastly, but not least, my ticket count for graduation has been turned in.  A rather large number of empanadas has been ordered.
In two months and one week, I will walk across a stage in a gorgeous red dress to finish off this season.

Sigh.
I am so thankful for each of you.

Don’t worry about a thing.

Well, I WAS going to video the tram platform for you.

And then, someone decided they needed my iPhone and wallet more than I did while I was out one night.  Thankfully, I discovered it very quickly and Ben, a new friend that I feel like has been around forever, was with me.  Within seconds, he had pulled up the Bank of America phone number and was handing his phone to my furious and violated self.
“Here, it’ll be alright.  Just call them.”
I am so glad he was there.

Amy, too.  She has become my closest confidante on this trip and I cannot even properly articulate my adoration for this girl.  As I stood outside on hold with America, mad on at least three levels, she grabbed me by the shoulders.
“Amaris, you are still here.  We are all ok.  It’ll be alright.”

It was a long night, but within twelve hours of it happening, virtually all problems had solutions presented and I even had a new transit pass all shiny with my picture on it.  My dad Skyped at 730am EST and asked what they could do and I honestly had to say, well, nothing; which was kind of a nice problem.

Typically, I’m very careful with my things as the minute you open your mouth and native English comes out, folks are paying attention.  That night, as Ben was in town working a show and, therefore, had other folks in tow, things were everywhere.  We had a beautiful time though, with 12ish British folks and us, despite the circumstances.

Overall, things are really good.  A few of you warned me and I didn’t believe you, but pieces of me have changed a bit.  My tiny, squishy heart is beginning to feel joy again for the first time in nearly two years, which is magical.  A new version of myself has shown her face and she loves walking silently without having to talk and conversations with just one person that are long and rich and deep.  She adores two hour dinners with nowhere to be afterwards and lying in bed just staring at the ceiling, daydreaming.  It’s been wild and blissful.

I still love the students on this trip.  They have this fascinating ability to make me groan with frustration while laughing at their hilarity in the exact same moment.  The women are beautiful and the men are amazing.  It’s been interesting to listen to what they worry about, what others tell them, and how they get frustrated.  College is a really fun age, but Lord, it’s hard.  I had blocked from my memory how much negativity and doubt and frustration is thrown in your face everyday between the ages of 18 and 22-something.  All while you’re trying to figure out who you are, what’s important to you, and what the hell you want to do with your life.

Their struggles are similar to a lot of folks I know who are out of college, myself included.  As I sit on the edge of a new season, a piece of me is quasi-freaking out as I have a plethora of questions dancing in my head.  Where does my career go, where should I go (if anywhere), how do I show Love best, and the list goes on and on.

But, amidst the crazy, I have a bed to sleep in.
There are shoes on my feet.
I am fed.
My life is overflowing with Love on multiple levels.
So, no, I have no clue what happens next.

I tell myself and them (and you) the same thing:

You are ok.
It’ll be alright.
PS – 18 days and the journey home begins.