You always have choices.

January 9, 2013 § Leave a comment

Not gonna lie, writing this post is difficult.  Sometimes, there are posts that fly out from under my fingertips and in less than 45 minutes, words grace the screen and I easily hit Publish.  This one has taken some effort and thought and I’ve started it four different ways thus far.

Don’t freak.  I have not decided to join Hare Krishna or become a Mormon (no offense, Mormons).  No, I’m not pregnant.  So, take a pill, grab a coffee, and get comfy.  Sadly, I have no idea how long this is going to take.  Thanks in advance for hanging in there.

When I came to Raleigh for the first time as an adult, something I cannot fully explain resonated throughout all of me.  “Yes.  Yes, yes, and thank you.  You must come here.”  It took another three years and change to make it happen, but every time I drive down Western past the skyline, that same something becomes still.  Peace settles in on this level I cannot explain and I know I am right where I am supposed to be.

At the end of 2010, I told a few friends that I felt as if the captain of my airplane had begun the descent.  They didn’t really get it and you might not either and that’s totally okay.  It just meant that I felt like, maybe, perhaps, I-wasn’t-really-sure-at-all BUT, it might be the beginning of the descent.  Like the first leaf that falls, that same something in me felt as if a cue had been given to begin the end.  I still don’t know if I was right. But, with graduation completed (HALLELUJAH!) and nothing really keeping me grounded (read: kids) (or husband) (no, there’s not a boyfriend either, but ya know, life is still pretty darn gorgeous thank you), the possibilities are kind of endless.

Of course, the wanderer in me says “GO!  Be free.  Find your own run-down studio apartment in Wicker Park, Chicago and take yourself on dates to indy films and drink malt milkshakes in the middle of winter just because they’re so lovely.  Play The Civil Wars on a record player and waltz across the hardwoods of that drafty room and Skype with your momma wrapped up in all the fleece you can find.”

But, Raleigh, the rest of Me says.  I love her.

Last month, a friend asked about the possibility of opening a studio together.  I agreed to dig my heels in for thirty days or so.  Take the month of January and crunch data, research, do lots of leg work and prep work to get something off the ground.  However, in all fairness, I thought it best to consider the other side of the coin, too.

And so, this woman (I almost typed girl, but I’m 31.  31!  Isn’t that nuts?)
Sorry…where was I?
Yes, so, this woman who loves to capture joy and color and light inside her box has decided to also look for work with an established studio as a photographer.  You can see my work all over this blog and some of it here.  People are my most favorite subject and I would love to work with like-minded creatives who have a love for Love.  If you know of a company that I might fit with, feel free to let me know.  In photography, it’s all word of mouth and is much of the reason I am posting this.  And, if that company is in San Francisco, or Austin, or Chicago, I am more than willing to explore the possibility.

I don’t feel pulled anywhere.  And I am most certainly happy.  My roommates, church family, and community are incredible.  My Momma and my Gran are both only 4 hours and change away.  It’s fantastic here.  But, I think it’s only fair to open the door and see if I might find the passageway passable.  Images are, most certainly, what I have been called to for the rest of my days.

Maybe I won’t be going anywhere.
Or maybe I’ll be in Chicago.


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