Water runs deep.

November 18, 2012 § Leave a comment

What’s a girl got to do for a Narnia closet?

My friend Emily posted this on Facebook the other day and my first thought was “ZOMG, YES.” A nice little place I go to through the back of my closet where I ride horses and talk with Aslan and lay in fields of puppies and dream for hours. (Yes, there are puppies in my Narnia. It’s my Narnia closet. I win.) Then, I would emerge and only 20 minutes has passed.
Can I go to there?!

Because this car debaucle is exhausting every available piece of energy I have. Fourteen people are now at play in this mess and I am pretty sure I’m going over my minutes this month between that hot mess and the photography. I want to be open about it (while also trying to be classy about it), but there’s lots of factors that only a few know because lawyers are about to get involved.
I know. FUN!

The more I become an adult, the more I realize that I just have no idea what is happening. One day at a time, I tell myself. One day at a time. And, some days are pretty great! A lot of them, actually. Friday morning was one of those times. It was gorgeous outside. I could see the ridge that Raleigh sits on the edge of as I drove to work. The sunlight hit those beautiful shades of orange and I sang along to my Pandora. As I drove, I had one of those fleeting moments where I am aware of how intricately beautiful life can be and how much Papa loves me.

Other days, not so fun. I drop one (or four) of the balls I’m trying to juggle, conflict happens, and all I want is a Narnia closet. Go talk to Aslan. Take a few hours to restore my very weary soul.

See, as I strive to be open, things happen underneath the surface that, sometimes even I, am not privy to. Eventually, they surface, and my little boat takes a hit. This past month, though I speak so highly of Love, I have not felt like talking to him. My lack of sleep did not help the apathy. There’s been this haze that has settled over my everything that I’m not used to. It was only Thursday that I began to realize it was there at all.

Just because someone’s actions don’t make sense to you doesn’t mean they don’t make sense. It just means there’s things in the undercurrent you can’t see. Someone’s small-to-you-struggle might feel overwhelming and life-robbing to them. I try to remember this about each of you, too.

If I ever shut down, if I ever quit talking of Love, if I ever stop embracing you, find me. Sit at the foot of my crazy tree. Tell me you’re on my team and don’t leave.

With any luck, I’ll climb down out of that tree as you take off and scale up yours. Then, it’ll be my turn to go sit at the foot of your tree and tell you the same.
People aren’t perfect. And sometimes life happens.
Fight the apathy.
Because even just one is worth it.


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