Don’t worry about a thing.

April 10, 2012 § 1 Comment

Well, I WAS going to video the tram platform for you.

And then, someone decided they needed my iPhone and wallet more than I did while I was out one night.  Thankfully, I discovered it very quickly and Ben, a new friend that I feel like has been around forever, was with me.  Within seconds, he had pulled up the Bank of America phone number and was handing his phone to my furious and violated self.
“Here, it’ll be alright.  Just call them.”
I am so glad he was there.

Amy, too.  She has become my closest confidante on this trip and I cannot even properly articulate my adoration for this girl.  As I stood outside on hold with America, mad on at least three levels, she grabbed me by the shoulders.
“Amaris, you are still here.  We are all ok.  It’ll be alright.”

It was a long night, but within twelve hours of it happening, virtually all problems had solutions presented and I even had a new transit pass all shiny with my picture on it.  My dad Skyped at 730am EST and asked what they could do and I honestly had to say, well, nothing; which was kind of a nice problem.

Typically, I’m very careful with my things as the minute you open your mouth and native English comes out, folks are paying attention.  That night, as Ben was in town working a show and, therefore, had other folks in tow, things were everywhere.  We had a beautiful time though, with 12ish British folks and us, despite the circumstances.

Overall, things are really good.  A few of you warned me and I didn’t believe you, but pieces of me have changed a bit.  My tiny, squishy heart is beginning to feel joy again for the first time in nearly two years, which is magical.  A new version of myself has shown her face and she loves walking silently without having to talk and conversations with just one person that are long and rich and deep.  She adores two hour dinners with nowhere to be afterwards and lying in bed just staring at the ceiling, daydreaming.  It’s been wild and blissful.

I still love the students on this trip.  They have this fascinating ability to make me groan with frustration while laughing at their hilarity in the exact same moment.  The women are beautiful and the men are amazing.  It’s been interesting to listen to what they worry about, what others tell them, and how they get frustrated.  College is a really fun age, but Lord, it’s hard.  I had blocked from my memory how much negativity and doubt and frustration is thrown in your face everyday between the ages of 18 and 22-something.  All while you’re trying to figure out who you are, what’s important to you, and what the hell you want to do with your life.

Their struggles are similar to a lot of folks I know who are out of college, myself included.  As I sit on the edge of a new season, a piece of me is quasi-freaking out as I have a plethora of questions dancing in my head.  Where does my career go, where should I go (if anywhere), how do I show Love best, and the list goes on and on.

But, amidst the crazy, I have a bed to sleep in.
There are shoes on my feet.
I am fed.
My life is overflowing with Love on multiple levels.
So, no, I have no clue what happens next.

I tell myself and them (and you) the same thing:

You are ok.
It’ll be alright.
PS – 18 days and the journey home begins.

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§ One Response to Don’t worry about a thing.

  • Rae says:

    Love getting to follow your journey a little! miss you and hopefully our vagabond selves will cross paths in the near future! xxo

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