No pun zone. (You can thank me later).
November 7, 2011 § 1 Comment
Even though I’ve got a long night ahead of me, I need a brain break. And a marshmellow or two, as I won’t be consuming them once this bag is empty.
It’s been a long day as, earlier this morning, my MRI x-rays and me traipsed on ovah to the orthopedics office with the beautimous Dre. Why was I, at my ripe old age of 29, at an orthopedics office?
WELLZ, I’ve really changed my life this year. Rather than stand for hours on a flat floor at beautiful restaurants, I now climb, crawl, squat, kneel, run, chase, and imitate yoga positions in order to capture beautiful images. Then there was that whole running thing that I’m kind of addicted to. Runners are crazy people! It’s like crack, or vodka, or football, once you start, it’s rull hard to stop.
And just like that, an alignment issue I developed about 9 years ago rears it’s ugly head. See, apparently, my inner leg muscles suck. But, my outer ones, due to all the activity I do, they are AMAZEBALLS. Back in ’03, I was flag footballing and salsa dancing and working baseball games and driving over 25k per year and that outer thigh muscle pulled my kneecap out of place. Right, FUN.
Fast forward to this summer and, after returning from Portland, my right knee learned a new trick. Sometimes, while just hanging out, it would freeze. No movement whatsoever. (Yeah, that can’t be normal.) My primary care asked me to cut out almost all unnecessary activity. Referrals had to be made and phone calls and insurance and the whole cabooski. Last week, I had a MRI. Have you ever had one of these things? Sweet Lord, they are awesome. Giant big room with white noise and a real nice nurse who called me darlin’. I needed to “lah reel steel and put awn these headphones.” You heard me. Half an hour of lying on a bed of PILLOWS while listening to the XM Radio station of my choice.
I will pay to do this any day.
Today was results day.
(Sidebar, if you’re in need of a solid orthopedist, you just let me know. Mine at Cary Orthopedic was fan freaking tastic. )
“Impressive,” he says.
“Uhhhh, is that impressive good or impressive bad?”
“Oh no, that’s definitely impressive bad.”
At the end of the day, I have no cartilage between my kneecap and femur on the outside of my right knee. Along with it, I have some arthritis in that spot. There is no cure or fix short of a knee realignment which is done by cutting bone and moving things. It’s that or a knee replacement. I just need to be good to it as I age. I’ve also been “strongly encouraged” to lose a minimum of 20 pounds as soon as possible.
No more half marathons for me.
Nothing over 7 miles, he said.
Translation: I can run.