September 15, 2009 § 1 Comment
Warning! This is not a funny post! If you’d like absolutely hysterical, please go here
As always, life is a topsy-turvy whirlwind of change. It’s almost as if I’ve become numb to it-people moving, things changing, new classes, new people, the list goes on. But, if I really step back and look at the big picture, it’s pretty incredible how far things have come. Just a few months ago, Jesus and I had a chat about becoming comfortable. You see, my life in Raleigh is pretty grand. I never expected to find the word Raleigh beautiful, but I do. And, with things being so grand, I asked if I was becoming comfortable, and if that meant it was time for me to move. I think I just perpetually live in the mindset of needing to move. After that chat, in the few days that followed, things got all kinds of cafuddled and still, even to today, I know that I am not “comfortable”. Today’s shining example is the departure of my dear friend, Beth.
I thought I was doing fine with things, until this weekend when some women I adore greatly seemingly forgot that I existed. Ok, that’s dramatic. They didn’t forget. But, they sure did act like it. And I was so disappointed. Like, way more disappointed than I should be. So, I began thinking “Is this PMSing? No, no. Do I need chocolate anyways? No…I just had cookie dough. (That’s right, RIGHT OUT OF THE TUBE! I have salmonella now, thanks for asking!) So, self, what is wrong with you?” And I realized, that this woman’s leaving was sad. I am BEYOND excited for her and wish I could pack myself in her luggage a Italia. I’m overwhelmed with joy that she gets this opportunity. But, she really does make me feel normal. (A phrase she thinks is weird, but I’ma usin’ it anyways.) Let me ‘splain. 99 days out of 100, I feel as though I’m in some sort of a leader role with the friends in my life. There’s a lot of times where I think in my head, “Shut up! You give out more advice than a palm reader!” But, that’s just where the people around me are at in life, they ask questions, they need help, they wonder about boys, or if they should go back to Jiffy Lube without oil in their engine because the guys at Jiffy Lube apparently forgot to put some in there. And I love that they are in that place, and I love helping, and discussing, and loving. But, this woman. Man. She’s closer in life phase to me…we’ve had lots of similar experiences…we basically want the same husband. Ok, not the exact same husband. She wants to get married to this guy, I do not. Not ahtawl. And while I’ve never felt as close to her as the other ladies at the Buddy Ranch, she blesses me in lots and lots of ways. I know she’s only a phone call or email or carrier pigeon away (they still do that! See?), but I’m saddened nonetheless.
Great piano music via Pandora is definitely not helping anything.
As a result, I’m hunting down other women in the church older than myself. Which will result (hopefully) soon in an afternoon of tea, and gardening, and likely playing with her little boy.
See? Change. And not comfortable. That last sentence just proves that I’m becoming girly after all.