You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy

August 18, 2009 § Leave a comment

So because I know you’ll appreciate this….
Three weeks ago I had a date.  I know I know.  I should have been like “sorry, I’m hanging out with Jesus, please go away”.  But,  I didn’t.  And now look where I am.
Anyways, the first date we met at the local ballpark for a ball game.  Woo! Right?  Maybe.  I should have run away when he couldn’t remember where he parked.  But, he had said he was tired, so I thought that was what was going on.  And some people aren’t so great with directions….right?
Enter date two.  Where he had me meet him to go to his coaches party (he coaches football), and I was like “Oh that should be fun!” Baaaaah. (That’s a buzzer sound)  He met me in another coaches car, so I had like no way to get the hell out of BFE until that coach decided he was ready.  I was also abandoned to the women’s table.  Seriously, the guys sat at one table and the women at another.  I was just like “are you serious?”  And then he left for a half hour to God only knows where.  While he was gone, one of the women was like “He always has a smile on his face” and I thought “Oh that’s so nice of her” and then another wife goes “Well, I think it’s because he doesn’t have any idea of what’s going on” and ANOTHER wife goes “I didn’t say it!”  I should have called someone to come get me at that point.  But, still, I didn’t.
We went to a movie…which he tried to TALK to me during.  Like, not even about the movie.  Tried to hold a conversation about everything else that went on that night, at normal volume.  I was just like “GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE”.  He took me home and I was like “Oh, thank God.”
I vowed to write men off forever.  Or until Jesus beams one in front of me so that I know it was Jesus.
Enter this past Friday night.  I’m with my super great friend, Jenn, at Peace Street Market, known city-wide for its’ impeccable beer selection.  I’m holding two six packs.  My pocket vibrates.  Text?  Phone call?  I go to put a six-pack down.  One vibrate.  Text.  Reach into my pocket, pull the phone out, flip it open, and I was sorely mistaken.  It was a phone call.  From him.  And by opening the phone, I have answered the phone.  Damn.  It.  Not only has he called me to see if I want to “come out to their practice the next day” (42 minutes away…has he actually forgotten that I do not OWN A CAR?!?!) and I realize: I’m on speaker phone.  And he’s still at the office.  And there’s at least two other coaches listening in to the whole damn conversation.  What is this?  Junior year of high school?  I tell him that I can’t, remind him of the epic party taking place at my house on Saturday night (see pics on FB), and remind him (AGAIN) of my commitment on Sunday mornings with the kids ministry at my church until about 1pm.  He’s like “Ah, right.  Got it.”  And I hang up as quick as possible.
Saturday evening he texts me, “What are you doing tomorrow AM?  I’m free and was hoping to see you!”  Really?  Did you forget in 24 hours, after I’ve mentioned it like 6 times, that I’m at my church ALL MORNING on Sunday?  Why is this so hard?  I tell him that I can’t and he’s like “Oh, well guess I was just HOPEFUL.”  Dude.  Whatever.  Chill the F-word out.
All of this has just confirmed to me what I thought originally.  He wasn’t that tired.  I’m smarter than him.
Great.
He texts me yesterday, wanting to know where we stand.  Awesome.  I emailed him last night saying that I didn’t think we really had a chance of seeing all that much of each other, considering we were both busy people and I didn’t own a car.  I thanked him for letting me get to know his other coaches, I didn’t take that lightly.  And I wished him well.
How about homeslice  emailed me back sayin’ “I do desire a serious courtship with you and hope you do too”!?!?!?!!?!?
I wanna coulda-hadda-v8 him.
How on God’s green earth do I FIND these freak shows?!?!?!
That is all. 🙂

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